


A Spider Amongst the Stars.

by TeamGwenee



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/M, Gossip Blog, blind items
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:44:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22305094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee
Summary: Come, come Little Birds. I have such a sweet song for you.Welcome to the web that fear built...
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 52
Kudos: 97





	1. Blind item #143

Blind item #143

An A list model/everything in her head is about to subject us to another painful mockery at acting, as she is slated to be cast in her rumoured lover’s next attempt at the big screen. If this disgraced former A list movie star truly wishes to make a comeback, he might want to put his head over his heart and get his director to rethink his choice of co-star. Although that may raise awkward questions as to _just_ how she managed to get that job in the first place.

Blind item #144

An alliterative daughter of former A list actor has let her pride in her first major role go to her head and has made herself a nuisance on the set of her current film. She not only refuses to take advice from the director but has also decided to bestow her wisdom on the rest of cast and crew; most of whom have been in the business since before she was alive, by telling them how to do their jobs. Her co-star; an A list movie actor known best for his pretty pout and comely curls, has confided in one of my little birds that ‘she always has to be the cleverest person in the room.’

Someone should tell her that Instagram likes and twitter followers don’t constitute talent.

Blind item #145

And finally, darlings, you all know I support women who wish to breastfeed their babies in public. But when the ‘baby’ of former B list singer/wife of A list director is seven years old, someone needs to either call Child Protective Services or at least tell her to put her breasts away.


	2. Blind Item #146

Blind Item #146

Expect to see a silver haired A+ lister singer be caught up once more in an ugly divorce. His marriage to former B- list model has been notoriously troubled, but the true ugliness of their relationship has long been hidden. Expect to see a lot filth rise to the service. His foreign-born A-/B + list actress ex-wife can only be laughing.

Blind Item #147

B+ list actress from that cable access show we all know seems poised to reach A list status by the end of this year as her dalliance with her brother’s band member has been bringing her unprecedented publicity. She’s no doubt relishing the prestige that being one half of King’s Landing’s hottest power couple brings. Certainly enough to ignore what her A lister boyfriend is getting up to with her brother on tour.

Blind Item #148

One would think that a certain A list movie star would relish having his long-term lover perform beside him in his latest fantasy blockbuster. But my little birds can confirm reports of bitter, petty squabbles on set, and blazing, roaring rows off camera. Lately my little birds have reported that he has been avoiding said lover/co-star at all costs, preferring to bash out his frustrations with the movie’s head stunt co-ordinator.


	3. Blind Item #149

Blind Item #149

This former A list actor may no longer be the heart throb he was in his younger years, but he still has the talent and charisma to still land a few movie roles, never mind the connections. So why haven’t we seen him in anything other than a club in years? The sad truth is my dears that this once promising talent is so drunk most of the time that these days he can hardly memorize his name, let alone a script.

Blind Item #150

This A list actor who has been subject of discussion lately has been favouring down time with the cast’s stunt co-ordinator over his charismatic yet volatile lover. Not only has he been honing his skills for the set, the pair have been sighted jogging in the park, meeting for lunch, and most recently sharing a large popcorn during a late night showing of J. Hagar’s newest tour de force of terror. One of my precious little birds successfully captured an image of the pair clinging onto each other with all their (considerable) might.

Well… it is a very scary film.

Blind Item #151 

This aging former A list rock musician may not have made a new record for many, _many_ decades, but he clearly still has enough in the bank for another young woman to have a shot at being his widow. Let’s see if this newest hopeful takes home the jack pot, or at least manages to wrangle a better divorce settlement than any of her predecessors for when he (inevitably) drives her away.


	4. Blind Item #152

Blind Item #152

My dears, had I not received this news from one of most trusted little birds, even I would not believe it. The beautiful daughter of an aging rock star will soon have to begin rescinding invitations to her elaborate wedding to the golden son of respected acting family. Not only has this A list actor been unfaithful, but he has _eloped_.

And who with but none other than the groom’s childhood friend and gold medallist sailing champion who just happens to be the youngest son of the bride’s father’s former band member. And all this merely two weeks before the big day. Let us hope for beautiful bride’s sake that it is not too late to get a refund. Or at least that she will be able to make her money back releasing a _devastating_ tell-all.

Blind Item #153

This A list model/ wannabe A list actress insists that she feels no jealousy regarding her co-star/ SO’s newfound interest with talented young stunt co-ordinator. The words from those pretty but poisonous lips are _‘he will never leave me for that beast!’_ Perhaps someone should tell the botoxed battle-axe that beauty is only skin deep. Will this talented but troubled A lister remain shackled to the beautiful beast, or find a new utopia in the arms of a beastly beauty?

Blind Item #154

Someone should tell this classic middle child that the fact that he has neither of his brothers’ success and fame or that his wife is a harpy with a hairy lip is not a good enough reason to join a notorious fire cult.


	5. Blind Item #155

Blind Item #155

This ‘actress’ who has been the subject of much discussion lately may insist that she holds no fear in regard to her lover/co-star’s camaraderie with a certain head stunt co-ordinator, but her insistence that the production drop her unlikely rival sings a different tune. Perhaps my precious little birds and I would be fearing for this talented young woman’s first shot at heading a stunt team on a major blockbuster, if it weren’t for the fact this A list model/ C- actress/A+ self-deceiver regularly turns up on set blind drunk. The possibility of recasting has already arisen within the production, along with the name of a certain A+ list triple threat who has recently returned from a relief trip in Mereen.

Blind Item #156

An internationally beloved boy band is about to make the dreams of a million fangirls’ come true as they sign with a new record label. Freed from the shackles of this notoriously conservative and ‘un-woke’ label, the lead singers of this band are preparing to out their romantic liaison. In preparation, the paps have already been called on a certain up and coming actress/sister/beard as she exits a children’s centre, and my little birds assure me we can expect a full-on charm offensive to ensure this rising star comes out smelling like roses.

Blind Item #157

This alliterative actress had the genius idea of staging a few pap shots as she and her co-star emerged from a swanky night club after an evening of letting loose. Such a shame the dear girl did not warn her delightful co-star in advance of the paps waiting for them outside the front door, nor did she run by him her agent’s brilliant suggestion of staging a relationship before planting a kiss on his lips in front of the vultures. Expect to see front page pictures of this touching romance on Monday, and I daresay a song or two regarding the fraught atmosphere on set.


	6. Blind Item #158

Blind Item #158  
The good news for this alliterative actress is that her brooding co-star has finally come around to the idea of staging kisses for the press. The bad news? _She’s_ not the red-head of choice. Instead his eye has fallen on (or his tongue has fallen in) a A-/B+ list indy folk musician.  
Our advice to this jilted actress? Chin up and walk tall. If there is one thing we have never been able to fault you on my darling, it’s your impeccable posture.

Blind Item # 159  
Tempers were high in King’s Landing last night, when this foreign born A list action star came face to face with his sister’s ex-husband (now in the midst of his second divorce), whom you will all remember for notoriously revealing his desire to leave the A-/B+ list actress by kissing his new paramour on the red carpet during the Harrenhal Tourney awards.  
What was said between the two was sadly missed, but the ex-husband was seen to have turned as white as his (naturally?) platinum hair. Fortunately, the evening ended in minimal bloodshed. Though not through a lack of trying.

Blind Item #160  
Morale on this movie set may be subpar due to the diva-like antics of the lead actress, but the performance of this A list actor hoping to make a comeback certainly is not. My little birds have confided in me that he is producing some of greatest work in years. We doubt the credit goes to his (hopefully soon to be ex) lover. Could this actor’s renewed love for the craft be coming from his growing friendship with the casts’ head stunt co-ordinator?  
All we can say is that with the amount of time and effort spent in the training toom, the fight scenes in this movie should be phenomenal.


	7. Blind Item #161

Blind Item #161

This former singer who breast feeds her seven-year old son in public seems an unlikely candidate to be at the centre of a romantic tryst. But then s _he_ is the wife of one of Westeros’s most prolific directors with access to all the juiciest gossip, and _he_ is one of Westeros’s most notoriously conniving and underhand talent agents. By all accounts she is leaking secrets in the same quantity she does breast milk.

Blind Item #162

Well my dears, it seems all talk of recasting has been taken off the table (and a certain actress has allowed herself to be taken _on_ the table.) One has to ask what strings said actress has pulled, but we all know it was a zipper.

With tensions growing on set, it’s just a matter of time for this actress to come to blows with her co-star/lover, even if it’s clear that the director has already beaten him to it.

Blind Item #163

Date night has been put on hold for these two little lover birds. This A-list actor and his folk singer girlfriend exited the restaurant my little birds had sighted them in with much haste after receiving a frantic phone call from a close friend and fellow band member. Rumours are unconfirmed but there’s a suggestion that their swift departure has been linked to an arrest made at the bear enclosure at KL Zoo earlier this evening. Public indecency was just one of the charges cited.


	8. Blind Item #164

Blind Item #164   
Well this is what happens to little birds who fly the nest without warning. This former B- list model has apparently been reaching out to her estranged father and brothers in the wake of her recent divorce from her A list actor husband. Sources confirm that she has been attempting to make amends for years, and her messy divorce has only caused her to double down her efforts. So far all efforts have been fruitless. Well, what do you expect when you disappear on the morning of your wedding for six months, triggering a lengthy and costly nation-wide search?   
One has to wonder if her newfound desperation stems from a natural and human desire for love and companionship, or if she has seen the value in aligning herself with one of the acting industry’s most beloved and prestigious families as the dirt of her infamously tempestuous marriage comes to light. Little birds, I will leave it to you to consider… 

Blind Item #165   
Lately this A list actor has been in this space for his rivalry with his female co-star, and his efforts to bail out a cherished friend currently awaiting trial, charges including public indecency at the local zoo, and animal abuse.   
While I am disappointed to reveal we have no updates on the bestiality story (yet!) my little birds can confirm that the on-set rivalry has only grown. Whilst pre-filming interviews spoke of excitement at the prospect of working together, and on-set pics were leaked to show the pair hugging affectionately, relations have now fragmented to beyond the point of repair. Whilst this actor has been openly calling for the recasting of the lead female role; the name an A+ list triple threat recently returned from Mereen once more being tossed around, his co-star has been discretely using his controversial friend’s recent animal scandal to start campaigning to see him blacklisted from the industry altogether!   
Dear oh dear. 

Blind Item #165   
You will have seen the news of this A+ list actor’s shocking injury on set. What you will not have heard is that his lover/co-star did not accompany him to the hospital as he was rushed in for emergency hand surgery. Instead it fell to the production’s stunt-coordinator to sit by him in the ambulance and wait in the hospital for his family to arrive.   
The whereabouts of his beloved girlfriend during this time are unconfirmed, but my little birds are able to confirm she was either shopping or having at facial at one of King’s Landing’s most exclusive salons.


	9. Blind Item #166

Blind Item #16 6

Offer your prayers to thank the Gods that my little birds survived witnessing this  altercation.

This  exclusive lake-side  restaurant  has witnessed many celebrity functions over the years , but none quite like this. An A list actor and his medallist husband; recently in this space for their shocking elopement on the eve of the actor’s wedding to the daughter of a former A list rock star , had  picked the worst possible restaurant to celebrate their return from their honeymoon.

It was a near tragic misfortune that led to  the newlyweds  being treated for minor injuries in A&E. they found themselves dining  in the very same restaurant  the jilted bride’s  brothers happened t o be h aving  a mini-family reunion. Thankfully  security managed to intervene  before  the  streets ran  _ too _ thick with blood.

Blind Item #16 7

Well, well, well…. now we know why the particulars of this celebrity wedding has been kept such a secret. 

As the divorce between  this A + list singer and former B list model  takes its gruesome course , details  regarding the couple’s secret nuptials  have been leaked. Although the couple  were  _ legally _ wed in  a ceremony in King’s Landing, the couple  sealed their devotion to each other in a private religious ceremony. Of course, this ceremony was not legally binding , probably because said singer was still married to his first wife , who was under the impression her  fickle husband was on a business trip in  the Vale. 

Where was he actually? Declaring his love to another woman  in Dorne , his first wife’s homeland and location of their own honeymoon!

Dear me, no wonder they  wanted to keep that under wraps.

Blind Item #16 8

And  finally my dears, it seems a certain A list in her own mind actress’s decision to forgo accompanying her lover/ co star to the hospital in favour of a day in the spa was the correct choice after all. She did look quite beautiful on the steps of  KIng’s Landing hospital, dabbing lightly at her (dry) eyes.

Of course, her actual visit to her beloved took less than five minutes. A very reliable source has confirmed that she spent more time touching up her makeup in the toilets for her photo op on the stairs, than actually spending time with the patient. Instead it fell to a certain stunt co-ordinator to remain by his side and tend to his needs, only leaving once a family member had assured her he will update her with any news and practically begged her to get some rest.


	10. Chapter 10

Blind Item Revealed! 

For weeks now we have been following the rivalry between this alliterative actress and her co-star. Well I can confirm, as many of you have guessed, that they are Jon Snow and social media influencer Sansa Stark. The production company have confirmed that Sansa Stark is leaving the project due to ‘creative differences’ and Daenerys Targaryen is poised to take her place.

Blind Item #169

A foreign-born singer whose A-list ex–husband is going through has a messy divorce has reached out to her former love rival expressing an interest in creating a single together. This will be the former model’s first shot at a music career, but I think we can agree this will be the break up songs to beat all break up songs.

Blind Item #170

Speaking of breakups.... this A-list actor who has just recovered from emergency hand surgery has informed his toxic lover/co-star that he is done with her selfishness, and intends to make official his new relationship with stunt-coordinator at the premier of his new film. Expect major red-carpet shake ups!!!

And while we’re on the subject, it seems his lucky new love has already been inundated with offers from various makeover shows. Our advice, be true to yourself! Own your androgyny, stand tall and celebrate the excellence that is you. That said, a little bit of lipstick never hurt anyone  fyi ....

That’s all I have for you today my lovelies, but fear not. You can rest assured that I have ears against every wall and eyes on every corner of King’s Landing. Come what may, my little birds will always be singing.


End file.
